The commander-in-chief runs. Which means. At the very back. Someone has to stand firm and take on the pursuing enemy alone.
The rear guard.
The role holding up the very end. For the sake of the main force as it flees, he himself stays behind in the jaws of death. A role everyone dreads, as good as a sacrificed pawn.
As we withdrew from camp. Who would command the rear guard? The place went dead silent.
No wonder. It was almost the same as being told to die. I couldn't bring it up. Telling someone to die—I couldn't possibly do it.
Just then. A small man stepped boldly forward and grinned.
"Leave it to this Tokichiro."
Kinoshita Tokichiro. That monkey who was always scurrying around me.
"I'll see you safely away, my lord. This Tokichiro will hold off the pursuers right here. You, my lord, please—get back to Kyoto safe and sound."
I caught my breath. This man. To let me escape. Was going to stay behind in the place closest to death.
"...Don't—"
I started to say "Don't," and swallowed the words. If I said it, what would happen?
If I said "We need no rear guard," the whole army would collapse. The pursuers would pour in, and the fleeing soldiers and the main force alike would be cut down, root and branch. It's because there's a rear guard that everyone else can escape.
Precisely because I understood that. I couldn't tell Tokichiro "Die for me," or "Don't die." I. Could only nod.
"...I'm counting on you."
Squeezing out just that was all I could manage. Tokichiro looked as if those words were enough.
"Leave it to me. I haven't even finished brewing your herbal remedy yet, my lord. I can't go dying in a place like this."
He laughed as he said it, half joking. He even remembered that my stomach hurts easily. At that very moment, about to stay behind in the jaws of death. He was still worrying about my belly.
Later, I heard the house had gossiped like this.
"That Kinoshita fellow volunteered for the rear guard, they say. To seek out such a death trap himself—a fearless man indeed."
"No. Surely that was our lord's command. He used that little upstart as a sacrificed pawn. The Demon King is truly merciless in how he uses men."
Fearless man. Sacrificed pawn. Both wrong. Tokichiro stayed behind on his own, to let me escape. I didn't order it. I just couldn't stop him.
As my horse carried me on. I looked back again and again and again. Beyond the dust of battle, growing more distant. There was that small back. The back that had stood firm to let me escape.
My tears wouldn't stop.
Don't die. Please, don't die.
Of all my retainers, you're the only one who knows how weak I really am. And still, you stayed on my side.
After Nagamasa. If you're gone too. What am I supposed to do?
The Monkey. The Bald Rat. To let me escape. Stayed behind, all alone, in the place closest to death.
Looking back from horseback, I wept without a sound. My attendants may have thought the wind was just stinging my eyes.
That's fine.
Please. Don't die, Tokichiro.
If I lose you too.
I won't—