The news came on a winter's day.
Ieyasu of Mikawa had been badly beaten by Takeda Shingen at Mikatagahara.
I nearly dropped the cup in my hand. The water sloshed and wet my fingers. I couldn't even tell if it was hot or cold.
Takeda Shingen.
The Tiger of Kai. A great general whose name everyone in this warring age knew. The army he led was terrifyingly strong. Horses and men alike, like a single blade honed to a perfect edge. If I'm honest, I was scared of Shingen, scared out of my wits. Just hearing his name made my stomach clench.
If that man ever truly turned his way toward me.
I didn't know if all the guns I had would be enough. Even with a thousand barrels lined up, they seemed like children's toys before that tiger.
When I heard the tiger had at last moved his troops west, toward Kyoto, I honestly wanted to run. Ahead of him, along the way he was going, was me. But before me stood Ieyasu of Mikawa.
And Ieyasu had challenged Shingen and lost.
From what I heard, it had been a wretched defeat. He should have shut himself up in his castle and let the storm pass, but young Ieyasu let his blood get the better of him and clashed with them in the open field. The Takeda army crushed him, and he fled back to his castle by the skin of his teeth.
His men had been cut down one after another. Some, I heard, had died in his place, as his stand-ins. I also heard he'd been shaking on his horse. That his hands on the reins had gone white, they were clenched so hard.
Hearing this, my retainers all had something to say.
"Lord Tokugawa is still young. Taking on the Takeda was far too reckless."
"So miserable a defeat will be the talk of the land for some time."
I sensed someone stifle a laugh.
The talk of the land.
The moment I heard those words.
My chest tightened painfully.
How could anyone laugh?
I couldn't.
Because I knew. I knew what kind of face he was making right now. How badly he'd been shaking on that horse. How much terror had clung to his back as he ran. I could see it as clearly as if it were in my own hands.
Because Ieyasu and I.
Were the two most alike cowards in the whole world. Back when we were hostages, the two of us wrapped ourselves in the bedding and spent nights shivering at the dark. I knew better than anyone how much of a scaredy-cat he was, how easily he cried.
And that man had just barely escaped with his life against the Takeda. His heart must be in tatters right now. Not shame at running so much as the terror that he'd be killed next, crushing him flat. I was sure of it.
I had a horse readied at once.
My retainers tried to stop me. The Takeda were still close. It was dangerous, they said, for my lord to go in person, of all things.
But I wouldn't listen.
He was shaking all alone. That alone was enough to make it impossible for me to sit still. The Takeda scared me, as much as ever. But leaving him by himself was something I couldn't bear even more.
I set off to him at once.
To that hostage boy, Takechiyo.