1570.
I ended up attacking the Asakura of Echizen. As usual, it wasn't because I wanted to.
I'd marched on Kyoto and carried the shogun on my shoulders, but there were daimyo here and there who wouldn't listen to me. The Asakura of Echizen were one of them. Leave them alone, and someday they might fall on me from behind.
Just thinking the words "from behind" sent a chill up the nape of my neck. What scares me most, always, is the thing that comes from where I can't see.
So—because I was scared, I'd strike first. Before they could bare their fangs, I wanted to push them somewhere they couldn't reach me.
My usual self-preservation. Nothing brave about it at all. I just wanted to be able to sleep at night.
To invade Echizen, you go through Omi. Northern Omi was Nagamasa's domain.
As I advanced my army, I was relieved from the bottom of my heart. After all, it was Nagamasa guarding my back.
My sister's husband was protecting my back. Could anything be more reassuring?
Nagamasa was a dutiful, sincere man. I liked that earnest face of his. I'd heard, too, that he treasured my sister Oichi. I might have trusted that brother-in-law more than my own blood relatives.
Me, scared of people, frightened of nothing more than showing my back.
This time alone, I could advance with peace of mind, looking only forward. Just thinking that Nagamasa was sealing off my rear made the chill at my nape disappear. Being able to walk without looking back—what a relief that was for me.
Nagamasa was cooperative with my campaign. He provided troops, prepared the roads, and let the army pass without a hitch.
I thought so all the more. Nagamasa really can be trusted.
He alone won't betray me. My sister's husband would never betray me.
That certainty.
Made my steps lighter, and my judgment bolder.
The fighting itself went well. We took Asakura castle after castle, and the army pushed deeper and deeper into Echizen.
My retainers were jubilant.
"An irresistible advance, my lord."
"Even the Asakura are helpless before the Oda's momentum. Just what one would expect of the lord of Tenka Fubu."
I nodded vaguely. I had an unpleasant feeling that we were going too far.
But Nagamasa was behind me. Whatever happened, when it came time to withdraw, I could pass through Nagamasa's lands and get home safely.
Because I thought so. I swallowed my unease and kept going forward.
That night, in camp. Kicho said, out of nowhere:
"My lord. Don't go in too deep."
"Nagamasa's behind us. Don't worry."
When I answered that.
Kicho paused a moment, and then said this.
"...Lord Nagamasa is only human too. Behind him are the Asakura, bound to him by blood. Before him, his brother-in-law. He may be in a painful position, caught between them."
I didn't think deeply about those words. Not Nagamasa. He'd never betray me. When I'm believing what I want to believe, I become astonishingly deaf to anything inconvenient. I even thought it was just Kicho worrying too much.
But Kicho understood the heart of someone caught in the middle far better than I did. When a person is cornered and has to choose one side, what does he throw away? That woman had quietly seen it.
How right on the mark those words were.
I didn't know yet.
I felt safe. Nagamasa was behind me. My sister's husband was protecting my back.
I believed it, and never doubted it.
That I never doubted it.
Would soon cut me deeper than anything else in my life.